Do you know what these signs are and how to avoid them like the plague? Even if you truly have good intentions, and want to work on something, it’s hard to know what to do. Because of this, at this early stage of the relationship, men and women differ far less than they normally would in their behaviour and interactions. When we are in lust, or even when we fall in love at the beginning of a relationship, our instincts are at work.
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This feels awful and, in fact, reinforces your feeling of unworthiness. Improving your assertiveness skills and developing a healthier self-esteem will allow you to confidently set limits on what you will and will not accept in a relationship. Because you lack the self-confidence to assert your needs, you’ll likely allow this poor treatment of blowing hot and cold to continue. Healthy relationships experience their fair share of conflict and challenges.
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Their short period of treating you well and being reliable is over. Again, you find yourself unsure of where you stand. It can be hurtful as you perhaps thought that things would be ‘different’ this time round. It is important to back up your words with actions. If you decide to give him space, then do not contact him at all.
He might be trying to play it cool so that he doesn’t come across as too keen. He’s hanging back a little so that you get a chance to make some first moves. Whatever the game is, if he’s ‘hot’ sometimes, it only means he is interested in you but is just enjoying the game.
A woman friend says, “I’d never want to be anyone’s first priority.” She wants her partner to have a life because she has one. Being anxious about your guy acting hot and cold will only make you panic and feel desperate. You might start to realize that the ‘hot and cold’ actions from your man are actually you interpreting things based on your ‘good and bad’ moods. If you start pushing him away and acting coldly toward him, he will probably get confused and decide it’s not worth the effort.
Sometimes, guys withdraw from a situation to be able to see it from a different perspective. By keeping a distance from you, he is trying to see the relationship differently and understand if he really wants to keep this going. Also, he may want to see how he feels away from you and know if he misses you enough to have you in his life.
Some guys even act distant when they’re in a committed relationship (yep, I’ve seen that many times before). The root cause of this behavior is a desperate attempt to gain control over the uncontrollable; love. But the partner, who’s committed to playing safe, will never allow himself or herself to experience love. They’ll toy at it, dipping their toes in and out of the water without ever getting wet. If you’ve been seeing a guy who has been going hot and cold on you, the best thing to do is to let him know that you’re open to dating other people. When a guy starts acting hot and cold, the first thing most women do is start pursuing him harder.
This is a partner who’s in the game for an ego boost and doesn’t possess the skill set required for a relationship with you. The beautiful truth is that this has nothing to do with you. There’s nothing you did, or didn’t do, that’s causing this. Don’t let your friends analyze your situation and convince you otherwise. Just notice where you are in the cycle and don’t let it disempower you. Understanding what comes next puts you back in control of your own reactions.
She is also the author of the advice column “Swipe This! ” A former New York Teaching Fellow, her writing has been featured in Reductress, Rolling Stone, Mic, Someecards, and more. You can be grateful he freed up space for a better partner to enter, or for all the things you learned about yourself and dating in the process.
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She’ll think you’re a guy who doesn’t get much attention from women. So she’ll wonder what’s wrong with you and she’ll is Snabbflirt safe believe you’re not worthy of her. Then she’ll distance herself from you until she can assess the situation.
If he stops going cold on you and is 100% committed to you, again that’s a win as you no longer have to put up with the drama. This is why you can turn the tables on him by putting him on hold back if you want to start pushing back against this behavior. If you’re struggling to figure out why a guy is behaving this way, ask him outright and see what he has to say. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life, it will end up dragging you down in other areas. You’re in control of your own happiness, and no one else can dictate how you feel.
